Bahamas Blog

The proposed marital rape law has garnered a lot of public debate. So much, in fact, that one visitor to a local message board quipped, "If we need this much discussion on rape of any kind, what does that say."

Answer: Nothing good.

Here we are, hosting the biggest beauty pageant in the world while we have members of the Bahamian public arguing over whether women even deserve basic human rights. Hope that doesn't make it into the Miss Universe pageant televised finals.

It would be even more embarrassing than having to admit you were a Bahamian back in 2000, right after the D- crowd beat down Hubert Ingraham for trying to change our flawed constitution to give women the same rights as men.

One of the most foolish comments I have heard thus far came from a self-proclaimed "Christian pastor", who obviously knows little about Christianity.

The fellow told a local Rotary Club that, if we passed this amendment, we would be creating a "society of rapists."

Hmmm. With some of the highest rape and incest rates in the word, some might say we are already a society of rapists. This proposed amendment is part of the solution to that problem.

And what exactly did the "pastor" mean by that statement? Did he mean that there are so many Bahamian men who force themselves upon their wives that this law would create a problem in our society?

If that is true, then it is all the more reason why this amendment must be passed.

"Each day you will be a potential rapist in your own home if you initiate sex with your wife without her consent," he told the Rotary Club of West Nassau earlier this month.

Uh, well, that's right! Anytime, anyone has sex with anyone else, against their will, then it is rape. Period!

I wonder how the pastor's wife feels about all this, when he isn't forcing her to submit to his demands.

Violence against women continues to be a VERY serious, widespread problem in The Bahamas. This amendment sets our sick society on the right course. Passing this law is not an option, it is a necessary part of rectifying the wrongs that are destroying our society.

Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognise by sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you know superficially, a neighbour or a colleague; a friend, a boy-friend or a former boyfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner; someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.

Marital rape is almost always part of an abusive relationship. And spousal abuse is a huge problem in The Bahamas. We have prominent lawyers and MPs beating their wives. How many times is it because the wife said "No" to their advances, I wonder?

Another self-styled "Christian" pastor, voicing his objections to the proposed law, was quoted in the press as saying, "The man is the head of the home as Christ is the head of the church."

In response, the editor of the Tribune got it right, big time, when she wrote:

"What the Bible said was that a man - not an animal - was the head of the home. This amendment would strengthen the foundation of marriage because it would remove an animal from the bedchamber and keep him out until he discovered his Christian manhood."

I ask the people who are opposed to this amendment to read this article, then tell me how they can object to the proposed change in the law.

Some of the best arguments for the passing of this amendment come from two men I have a lot of respect for; writer & attorney, Anthony L Hall and Bahamian Minister and marriage counselor, Barrington Brennen.

Anthony Hall, writing for Caribbean Net News, had this to say:

"This proposed legislation has incited such widespread moral condemnation that one might think Bahamians were living in a Taliban paradise. Indeed, this condemnation exposes the fact that Christian fundamentalists, in many respects, are every bit as fanatical as Islamic fundamentalists.

"Accordingly, I implore political leaders to ignore the blandishments of religious leaders who not only condone but actually champion marital rape — based on their reading of the Bible and their chauvinistic concept of traditional family values. I rather suspect, though, that self-preservation would preclude these religious leaders from supporting legislation calling for all adulterers to be put to death – as the Bible commands.

"To be fair, however, I should note that there are progressive religious leaders in The Bahamas. And I duly entreat them to lend their voices to this debate by preaching the gospel, especially to women, that sexual abuse in marriage is as much of an abomination against God as physical abuse."

You can read Mr Hall's complete article here.

Minister Brennan, way back in 2004, wrote a paper on marital rape.

"Rape is not about sex. It’s about power and control. Generally, men who rape are married or have multiple sexual partners. Men who rape their partners are not being overpowered by testosterone, but by their insatiable and evil need to control and be in charge.

"When their wives say no, they feel that their alleged power position is being threatened. Therefore, to show their authority in the marriage, they demand and force themselves on their wives. Too many bedrooms are darkened, not with romantic candle light, but with the pain of self-gratification, intimidation, and coercion."

Despite what the phony pastors say, forced, violent sex is not a marital right. Marital rape is not motivated by sexual desire, but by violent aggression.

And we have too much of that in this country as it is.

Quoting the Tribune Editor again, "This amendment has to be passed into law - and the sooner the better."